The ability to develop, anchor, express and experience healthy boundaries is essential on the path of wellness.
A boundary is something that indicates a border or limit. They make us feel safe and are needed if we are ever to experience the boundlessness and limitlessness which makeup our true spiritual nature.
Healthy Boundaries help us in forming trusting and trustable relationships with ourselves and others. While unhealthy boundaries do the opposite. We don't really even trust ourselves to honor the boundary.
Personal boundaries may develop from childhood conditioning, by evaluating our beliefs or by having our personal space/body violated in some manner.
Here are some examples of unhealthy boundaries:
Telling everything to everyone.
Falling in love with anyone who reaches out to help you.
Acting on the first sexual impulse or being sexual for your partner, not for yourself.
Going against personal values or rights just to please others.
Not noticing when someone else displays inappropriate boundaries or invades your boundaries.
Accepting food, gifts, touch, or sex that you don’t really want.
Allowing someone to take as much as they can from you.
Letting others direct your life or define you.
Believing others can anticipate your needs.
Expecting others to fill your needs automatically.
Falling apart so someone will take care of you.
If any of these strike a chord in you know that with some excavation and attention unhealthy boundaries can be shifted into healthy ones.
Once healthy boundaries are anchored, how we choose to express them takes many forms from speaking or shouting them to maneuvering ourselves away from those people, groups or situations dishonoring of personal limits.
When we become crystal clear and honor our own boundaries, we can create an internal point of attraction shift that others respond to. We don't have to speak or posture to express boundaries, it becomes our unspoken energetic emanation.
Not too long ago, I felt I was giving too much personal time, energy and money leading a social group. After an internal review, I saw I was giving too much and I wasn't happy about it. I love the people in the group but I wasn't loving & honoring what felt good to me. I wrote a letter calling for a shift. Some people got really angry I had set a limit to what I'd give and left the group while others came forward with donations, time and effort. There was a shift, I feel so appreciated by others now and inside I feel right alignment with myself. Myself, the group and my relationship to the group became balanced and healthier than ever. Setting the limit wasn't easy but the outcome was worth the moments of discomfort.
Take a few moments to be with your boundaries. Are you honoring them? Are you feeling honored or invaded? Are you using them as an impenetrable wall? Do you trust yourself & others?
I'm here to support you getting clear, making the shifts and anchoring it all via phone and zoom calls!
All Is Well
And So It Is